JC / Railbird

Readings: Liebling

“The second dodge of the Bite was quite classic. Early in life his back was broken during a Tornado at his place of nativity down South, notoriously the home of high winds, viz., Gainesville, Georgia. Nobody ever had such a magnificently large Hunch as the Bite believe me.
“And be assured the Bite made the Hunchback Business pay him better than it had Lou Chaney, who played Quasimodo in the silent films. He made a play for the lady Horse Players only. He bought two suits a year, one for the summer and one for the chilly days of autumn, generally at thirty-five dollars each. But he paid five dollars extra for a very special alteration. Where the coat rested plumb atop the Hunch this mastermind contrived a large Patch Pocket that opened and closed on a shiny zipper about six inches long.


“For years, the Bite held to the psychic fixation, in effect, experience had shown him, that only women could enjoy good luck in playing the horses by the laying on of the hands upon the prodigious Hump. He would say oftentimes that under no circumstances would he sell ‘a tough’ as he termed the merchandise, to a man, only to a woman, and never less than ten dollars.
“As the years went by the Bite built up a large and steady patronage among the women turf speculators. They would come sidling up quietly to the Shoe Shine Stand and back in the rear of the hanger racks. The Bite would follow, tip toeish like, and in a flash a tug on the zipper would bring exposure of the Hump. By a quick and dexterous move the lady Horse Player reached down a ‘pinky’ and the ‘the touch’ became achieved.” — From “The Honest Rainmaker” in “Just Enough Liebling,” by A.J. Liebling