April Fools News
Paul Daley of the Lowell Sun reports breaking racing news:
In an attempt to allow any serious fan of thoroughbred racing to be able to afford to attend one of the big events, the NRTA announced today that the price of tickets to the Kentucky Derby, Preakness Stakes, Belmont Stakes, and the Breeders’ Cup will be pro-rated depending upon income level and standard of living.
A ticket to each event will now cost the purchaser an amount equal to either one-month’s rent or mortgage payment. Verification will be through a notarized letter sent to the NRTA at predetermined dates.
“We’re trying to be equitable, allowing our core fans access to our biggest events,†commented an NTRA spokesperson. “However, luxury box seats must be purchased through our time-share plan and are not transferable to family members, even upon illness or death. Those tickets will return to the pool.”