JC / Railbird

Readings Archive

Readings: Runyon I

For forty years he’s followed the track
And played them hosses to Helenback
And they ain’t a thing he shouldn’t know, that bloke.
So I sez to him, “I want advice
On beating this dodge at a decent price.
And what have you got to tell me, old soak?”
“Well, son,” he sez, “I’ve bet and won,
And I’ve bet and lost, and when all is done
I’m sure of one thing — and only one —
         All hawss players must die broke!”

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Posted in Readings on January 22, 2005

Readings: Liebling

“The second dodge of the Bite was quite classic. Early in life his back was broken during a Tornado at his place of nativity down South, notoriously the home of high winds, viz., Gainesville, Georgia. Nobody ever had such a magnificently large Hunch as the Bite believe me.
“And be assured the Bite made the Hunchback Business pay him better than it had Lou Chaney, who played Quasimodo in the silent films. He made a play for the lady Horse Players only. He bought two suits a year, one for the summer and one for the chilly days of autumn, generally at thirty-five dollars each. But he paid five dollars extra for a very special alteration. Where the coat rested plumb atop the Hunch this mastermind contrived a large Patch Pocket that opened and closed on a shiny zipper about six inches long.

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Posted in Readings on January 8, 2005

Readings: Conley

“After one of Slew’s three losses, his jockey, Jean Cruguet, bitched to the press about him: ‘I told those people he wasn’t ready for the race after beating four bums going seven furlongs. I told them he wouldn’t beat Dr. Patches.’ Cruguet never rode Slew again.
“The jockey who replaced him, Angel Cordero, had been begging for the ride for nearly two years, ever since Slew beat his horse, For the Moment, in the Champagne Stakes. Cordero and his mounts had lost to Slew on many occasions, so he was familiar with Slew’s intimidating style, the way he stared down not just the horse but the rider as well. Cordero, who was not beyond using intimidation tactics himself, couldn’t help admiring this cold and level eye. He told a reporter that as Slew pulled away from him in the Kentucky Derby, he said, ‘Goodbye, Soul Brother.’

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Posted in Readings on December 14, 2004